Sleep

May this not be taken wrong but if i could sleep forever I would, not because I want to die, far from the truth. More of because I have not been able to sleep well for a couple of months. I know its due to stress but how to reduce my stress levels is unknown to me, I have tried many technique none that seems to really work. They only offer temporary relief from this anxiety that looms over me. One might say that I have developed some type of anxiety disorder. Which might hold some truth but the truth of the matter is poor Americans do not have the luxury of affording health care especially at my age and that face my unique situation. A salary of 800 dollars a month does not afford health care. Before comments fly in the mind of individual no this post is not about health care and who should deserve it because my ethical standards tell me everyone should and no matter what one hold to their beliefs tightly especially those that deal with humanity.

This post is just to try to relieve some of that stress in a constructive manner by spewing the large amount of water that flow through a tiny opening that are my emotions. A strange sensation always befalls on me when I look at the events that have passed in life they feel as that is not who I was meant to be. That I was put here for something greater to help mostly in some way to help others have a hope that I now lack. How is it that a person who feel so much sadness at time can be the same person who has helped many realize much more of their worth? Does this make any sense. One might be wondering and "how is it that you know that you have moved people in such a way" because I have been told before and because I have experience the difference in those that I have stir. Which brings me to another mystery of life if I have as they have praise me for my action moved them so much, why is it that the people I encounter disappear as fast like frame of a film. Are they users? maybe? I think they are afraid. Afraid of letting someone so nice in because maybe they know they would have hurt me in a greater sense. At least that's what I lead my self to believe. A much better outcome I even in my most naive self will remain to see humanity for what they can be instead of what we are.