The Flower

I remember when I first saw it, the radiant midnight flower.
Like anyone at that age, that is to say I was young.
Young enough to be at that hour, the hour I laid eyes on the midnight flower.
With a cheerful group of friends.

Although my age was 17 maybe 16 I could be mistaken, but I could have not shaken.
Laying eyes on that flower, my friends all laughing, daring me to go see the flower.

At a distance it stood, not just simply it stood, uniquely it stood.
As i gathered my courage, began to walk in a flourish.
Stopping in the middle knowing just a little about how comical
I was walking straighten up my poster.

Gathered more than courage walking across the pavement.
Reaching my destination my heart began beating.
Beating against my chest, as if to say that my heart wanted out.

That's when I uttered "Diana, so you want to go out sometime" but it had seem that I mutter "Danea, soy-u, ant, o g-o ut, smetime". I stood with terrified expression as the beautiful surrounding flower giggled and smiled.

Yet when I was backing, Diana began acting. Then she uttered oh so more than muttered "Yes". Then I seemed to be floating because I was beaming.
Night Summer love, from the midnight flower.

Midnight summer was never the same for luck have it that I kept my flower.
Now every summer my flower and I go upon the midnight hour to that place,
and remember, remember how we fell in love.

It Speaks

It speaks, the light grows dim.
the sound all around me.
It consumes me.

My limb move violently away, but there is no escape.
It speaks, light becomes darkness.
Blood rushes, excitement fill my veins.

Ducking in a corner, hiding from a face.
A face of horror, a face of death.
A face that can destroy us all.

It speaks I can hear it foot steps, waxing to a full distraction in my brain.
My hand at my holster, drawing the weapon, ready to aim.
My heart pumping faster, its closer, its closer, its closer.

Now! jumping from a corner, aiming at his head.

I killed you first I proclaim
I killed you first.

As water rushes like plasma laser, from a nozzle.
Spaceman Vs Alien.

Now but a dream but the days of childhood summer
Are always more but what they seem.

There a saying and it goes knowledge is power, and knowing the life that you have become accustomed to, That all the things that make life worth living was going to end, would you Try to stop the end of everything? Is it in our power to control the fate of life. If you knew that tomorrow the sky would darken all around you, become cold, while death awaited and in seconds take everything. Time, a concept created to understand change. When we enter this life it is time that marks our existence, and when death speaks we only understand with time, "it is time". If the knowledge of the expiration of all life was handed to you by mean that no one would comprehend, would you prevent it? "It is not for me to decide" is that what we should speak if we had such knowledge should the needs of one be more important than the needs of many? Would we be playing God, tying to stop something that maybe is inevitable but what if? would you postpone it? To suggest that a possibility of postponing such an event is even possible would be considered as absurd as the belief that such knowledge is possible.

I know the argument "why even think about such a controversial topic", "why just not live life?". In honesty if you knew would you not think about it, or are those who care not to think of all of life's possibilities destined to die first, for how can you be grateful of change, grateful for life, if you can not understand death. When we act in way that is distasteful to society, loved ones, mentors and parents we strive for change but change without the reflection only feeds destruction, the mirror that we look into is our future. Only when we are able to understand the action that destroy humanity, our self being, our soul. Is when we will understand to over come all possible outcomes, but until then we are destined for death.

We create death everyday, and oddly that death we create enhances life. One only needs to look at this post and know that it was created with a machine with passion, for the person who created the chip that lies in it has the passion of the person who created it, and that passion lives on. That passion grows more and more dangerous as the years pass by, as technology out does it self. We are creating death, and creating life all at the same time for this power that we have created Technology, might just be the power that will destroy us in a form of a atom crashing into another. Harnessing the power of God with technology, and science.

Should we be afraid? There is uncertainty for me like most of humanity enjoy the comfort and the feeling of awe when I see, experience, and feel a new technological advances at the tips of my fingers. Yet I can not shake the feeling that the finger of humanity is the same fingers that will point at a road leading to death. So if you had the chance to stop the end, would you? A part of me feels that we will never learn from our mistakes especially indifference until dreams of Apocalypse become our reality. Yet my soul and heart in battle with logic can not ignore the generosity, beauty, artistry of man, and I hear my soul speak "we can change, we can change, give us a chance".

Oh! hmm! yeah!

I've been lazy lately, just feeling so tired must be staying up so late for the past three days, now its time to work. I must write a local article and my mind is in writers, idea, block mode I have no idea what to write about absolutely nothing. I will try my best to come up with something before the due date.


It is rather odd, rather I find it odd That although doing something I love which is to write is fun, doing it for money its not easy but very necessary. Other wise how would live at least I feel i am doing something productive. Which is good for me because I feel that I am unproductive compared to my partner, especially since his a engineer and his responsibilities outweigh mine 10 to 1.


I also had a very romantic dream recently well romantic at first then very sexual at the end but let focus on the romantic in fact I am unsure what the sexual part of my dream is or means. As far as the romantic yes it was very nice, I was dreaming of someone else not my partner, although this was happening the feeling that came that warm from a romantic dinner at night under the stars gave I knew that feeling was Isaac even though it was someone else in the dream because only Isaac gives me that warm feeling.

Becareful

They say ask and you shall receive, or be careful what you ask for, and all these are true to a degree you ask for to experience another type of fear and you receive fear in a totally different way ;-;

For me loneliness is the ultimate fear but not so much just being alone knowing that in life you have had someone and because you knew that someone and loved them, and they loved you being without them is the fear of loneliness. If i had never knew them that fear wouldn't be so strong. I would still find it hard to know that I am alone but not having an attachment to anything would make it so much easier to purge myself of all emotion to become emotionless in the face of fear.

Imagine to be human and be devoid of emotion is that possible?


I find it hard to believe, and or never wish to meet anyone like that.

God Can You Hear Me?

The only certainty I have is my humanity. So why is it that I must feel less than human without faith? Why must we feel alone, when we are losing our faith? I know that I have lost my faith; you may be losing yours, or have already lost it. Does this explain why we feel lost or is there something that we're unable to see? Is the act of faith blind, do we truly place our soul on what can only be described as a feeling, an emotion that is so tangible when you feel it but intangible when you lose it.

Being gay and having faith never came easy, but no one promised that it would, so why did i expect it to be. The answer might lie in faith, or is it humanity. A belief that we as a humanity feel a handed right to find happiness, a right to live as we see fit, or is our life destined to be what our creator has meant it to be. If so, why have I lost my faith, and where can we begin to find it. No I know nothing about theology, but I know I am human, know that these feeling are not just my own, but ours. That the emptiness, we feel, that I feel, a feeling that can only be described as a presence without faith is difficult.

Yet I have hope that the answer lies deep inside each one of us. I know the journey is not easy. Everyday I fool myself, I often have thought "oh that just the way things are" "does god love me? Or am I destined to be damned forever" "will I ever find peace knowing that I am in the presence of god" So why is it that feeling that way makes life difficult, why is it that absence of faith does make life easier. Why does the belief keep coming back, when we feel there is no need for it? I often think its because it has been preached to us, religion has dealt us a bad hand. Religion has made us feel as though we are not worth to stand in the presence of God. The idea of making one feel so worthless as to defer them from practicing faith, where faith should be welcomed, can be truly devastating. Is gay really worth the title of damnation, worse to be ostracized from god. We will never truly know the answer until death is at our door. Yet I can not shake the deeper feeling that the soul needs to believe, that there is a God, in which we need to place our faith in. Because without faith what are we? Just human? it's hard to believe to be simply humanity when humanity is more complex than just being.

When you experience true love for the first time, or the generosity of a person, or the feeling of giving, when we listen to our favorite song and it sparks that sensation of joy, but more importantly when we connect with each other especially our friend and family. That can't simply be humanity. So why is it different when we are gay? Why must there be so much pain. Am I alone when I say this? I have my doubts, "is it just me?", or is there no difference is it just a human concept.

Is the majority of our gay community faithless? Or are we merely open to the idea of life. I have come to understand that not of all us, us being the GLTB community feel faithless. Shockingly I have found that many want to believe but it is too painful, to deal with shame our religion does so well to exploit. So we find the polar yet equally satisfying answer of not believing. How do we restore faith? Faith in each other. When the true measure of faith is humanity for when we see the generosity of man, the artistry of man, the selflessness of man, which is the beauty that makes humanity a possibility. This is the true face of god.

If all the beauty that is humanity is a part of God the have I really lost faith? Maybe Its just religion and we must strive to educate those within our religious community that our presence in
the face of God is just, and although we might not agree on the technical aspect of true faith, do not ostracize us. Instead welcome us, even if our commonality is the belief that there is a God, and nothing should be worth more than that belief.

First day

The first day of our vacation is over and so far its great just to be able to spend time with Isaac, today we went shoping for HDTVs, we want a 32 inch minimal but we are thinking of buying a 52 inch oddly enough. Right now Im in a state of calmness it feel good to be just relaxing at home the cool AC is blowing and well that feel sooo good because today it was burning hot and was making me so fussy in the afternoon because the heat was just to much, so hot that the car AC would have little effect.


Tommorow I have orientation for college it been almost 4 years since I tried going back to college but this time I am determined to succede I am a bit scared of the thought of returting I am afriad I have forgtten everything that I am suppose to know, but its just orientation so we will see how things go in the end if all is well then things should be great.

Good Time

So my vacation has started and my partner and I have been so far been having a good time. So why am i here I should be spending time with him and its not that I'm not just the presnece makes it all worth it. He and I know that we do not need to always be talking or always force some entertainment its just knowing that you can be next to someone that know all what your thinking, or at least knows you well enough to assume what your thinking without me being offended but that the beauty of a relationship so long.

That you know that whatever one might say whether it be critical of who you are, or just a compliment deep inside you know that its for your own good, and I can not fully explain how great this feel, but it like light in your heart it bring a nice warm feeling and a smile. Knowing your partner loves you, and although very mushy when he looks at me, sometimes I cant comprehend how he can look at me like if it were the first day we met, with joy, excitement, and full of love.

All the thing that I am uncertain of this is the one thing I am glad to be certain of, because if the world would end today, I know God loves me because He brought Isaac and I together.


Enough of that mushy feeling, I have not gotten around to finish my last short story and I am uncertain that I ever will like most of my creationg they end up stopping and beinging to lump in the mass that is my brain always adding always cultivating but for some odd reason I am unable to bring my self to continue them. I know I should and stop cluttering this mass of mine.

It's not that I do not wish to finish I guess there something that stops me maybe its laziness but then again the feeling I get inside me its not that of laziness its of as if its almost a fear. Fear of what exactly is unknown to me, it just might be something to discover.

One can only be so lucky

One can only be so lucky to be called wise and knowledgable yet such title takes great knowledge and although there are many who have degrees and some who have 2 or 3, that does not make you wise nor knowledgable.  

As time pass we learn that the most knowledgable are those who know about the world around them and not about whats in a book.  Text does not match up to actual experience.  In almost every tribe the wise are the old and at times even for moderen culture we realize that the wise are not those whose library is the biggest but who has lived through the trials of life.  

 Becaues they can teach something that book ultimately cant the human experience. 

Love

At times I often think after seven years of being in a relationship, that this wasn't easy but it if it wasn't easy you would think I would let them go? Yet true love is not a person that is going to make your life easier if that was the case that would be boring and love wouldn't be such a big issue.

Reason love is so hard to find because you don't find that person that challenge your being, that allows you to discover new things about yourself. That has made you realize that there is more to life than the everyday robotic drone cycle. Making you realize the importance of the simple thing in life. Allow you to take notice of the everyday small yet so meaningful things that make life worth living.

In time one begin to realize that all the pieces fit and the puzzle is complete and that nothing can compare to the love that one person has put into the hard work that a relationship takes, that those simple annoyances are worth living with because that the only person who could beat you at your game.


That is my opinion the measure of true love.

The Inspiration of my day

When the dragon from my ears fly out
Greeting the imagination of my eyes
They begin to sing a song of great inspiration
That how i know its a wonderful day

Cleaning

Today I went on a cleaning spree it felt good though to clean very well, so well one might say it was super duper extra sparky clean. To assume that you all know what super duper extra sparky clean even means eh. Did I ever mentioned I am mildly in love with evil trees? like the one depicted below.

Yes and i can see I have posted something on evil tree HERE
how can you not love evil tree they are so evilly delicious.


Back to my point not only do I like evil tree I like evil horses with red eyes too because they are so awesomely scary. Not only are you in a dark forest being chased by evil tree, imagine your also being chased by huffing dark red eye horses. Now that true horror, because we all have the possibility of getting lost in a forest and at night too, how creepy. In reality I guess you wouldn't be to worried about evil tree as much as poisonous bug, snakes, and mountain or forest lion/tigers/animals.

I need to attempt to one day write a horror story, but it not that easy i suppose horror is tough building suspense isnt always easy.

Yes half

Yes it finally mid week thats great news for me because its almost time for Isaac and I vacation time and I am going to enjoy every moment because after that its back to hard work and hard work does not pay off unless you try very hard.

Any who lately ive been feeling great about thing life coulndt be better thank God for that :D

My head hurts

Grr i wish i had aspirin.


-- short story 4 chp 4---

It was now 3 days before our big trip everyone was psyched my brother and I were granted the days needed for such a trip from California to Florida. I had decided to turn on the TV to check on the news to see if we would into any complication with the weather. I switched it to CNN the thin single glass television turned on displaying images through laser projection . The news anchor began to speak about the situation developing in Iran which I immediately switched to the weather channel it seemed that every now and then Iran threaten to attack in the past 9 years of the same bullshit nothing had ever happened. I'm uncertain if anyone ever paid any attention to such claims anymore. The weather seemed fine and everything was a go. I then called the car rental to see if our car was set. They confirmed that the air car was available and ready to go everything was perfect. Nothing could have gone wrong, I decided it was time for bed and fell asleep content that everything was ready.

The next following days had passed quickly, it was the day of our trip the kids were in complete chaos making so much noise it was driving me crazy but at the same time i felt a sense of joy to see them so happy. I activated our standard issue ASIMO IV as smart as a dog able to do complex function and take care of your home while your away. I also took our ASIMO IV compact size on our trip in case we need to get in contact of any Aid facilities. I set ASIMO to load up the kids. While I made sure everything was set to go, checking and double checking our reservation and the security of our home. I instructed ASIMO to throw away any food that might expire while we were gone take any messages and foward them to my cell, and to notify us of any changes at home. Feeling secure I closed the door behind me and was off.



Read chapter 3 here
Read Chapter 2
Read Chapter 1

Its Monday

Its monday I feel good but its also monday which mean, mondays have always giving me that feeling of ugh the new week started time to do IT! all over again anyways I think today i'm going to try a vlog never done one or attemped to kinda embarasing doesn't anyone thing that but then again they can be very helpful >.> we will see :D have a good day everyone

they should have told me

They should have told me,
that is someone,
as to refer to anyone
that was wiser than me,
stronger than me.
more confident me.
more observant than me.

They should have told me.
Yet, would I have listened.
would I have wanted.
would I have wanted enough,
to observe?

The observation that I,
Yes I, but we, referencing
Percentage, that must feel like me.

The observation that I could not see.
Should have seen.
would have liked to have seen.

Now time has past,
Now I see.
I see as far as the eye could see.
On a shore out looking the sea .

Vast, open, ever changing
but constant. Like sea
I have seen what is to be me.

What is to be me,
Me, to know inside me
Me, to love inside me.
Me, to teach inside me.

They should have told me
If I were to love myself
If I were to know myself
If I were to search myself

That I could of seen
That I could be
That I would be
That I have become

Confident
Observant
Knowledgeable

Now I see those who cannot see
To help them see.
Help them observe and see
Help them know and see
Help them search and see

That they too can be
as confident as me
as observant as me
as knowledgeable as me


And no matter what they see
in our vast sea that is our world

that one insides oneself
one is strong
one is confident
one is knowledgeable
one is beautiful
always.

Do not dare to be someone you cant be
Be yourself, Love yourself, Know yourself
Express yourself.


Love the world and its people
No matter how hard it might be
we are people

one of a kind!

They should have told me
They did not
But I have learned
They should have told me
they did not
I have told you

Now lets see
what change can bring.

Give them hope!

If you though alice was a trip, be ready for this.

http://tinyurl.com/dxpyg8

Or here

Continuing Short Story 4 Chapt 3

Chapt 3

It must be easy to live without knowledge because knowledge is deadly and unlike the bird that migrate in pack they belong to something greater than my understanding, yet human have the ability to go against all that is known and taught. I am uncertain that we belong to anything or anyone, and that is a lonely feeling.

It had been 10 month since my brother moved in and we were both making great progress had more than enough money saved to last us 2 to 3 years if anything should happen. Finally having moved into a four bedroom apartment with the assistance of the state, and it wasn't so much for us as it was for the kids, kids need all the space to grow up especially when developing their individuality. As for me I had already made up my mind long ago who I wanted to be. I was a free spirit always observing and always question and always doing what I wanted and learning what I wanted. I had all the hope in the world that one day humanity can live congruently without border or boundaries. Like some Utopian civilization of some galactic mass far from our own, but till then the kids were getting bored of always being at home. Steven and I decided that it be best that on the 1 year since they got here we would all head to Disney world the land of all enchantment, the land of what dream of made of. As to assume that dream could be easily fabricated. That date was 2 month from now and I had to admit even in my semi-bitterness I was excited.

After all its Disney who doesn't like Disney. At one point we all did at the very least. The kids were ecstatic as all should be at that age even the older 18 y/o. They all began to chatter away at what they wanted to see and do. I decided to withdraw from the conversation, and sit alone for a bit. I rather observe from afar to see young face light up is truly the work of god, innocence, laughter, music, generosity and hope in humanity is the true face of god. I couldn't help to think that I was alone I hadn't met anyone in my 10 years of dating. I always wanted to adopted, but at this moment I was uncertain that I would ever. Dating didn't come natural to me, and I was very geeky, felt uneventful and had my views on society. Because society isn't humanity because society is bound by the laws of race, religion, and sexual orientation. Humanity on the other hand is believe we are all ever connecting. If i were to meet anyone it would have to be one with the belief and hope in humans that I deeply had inside me. Until them all that matter is the kids, work, and our coming trip to the land of dreams.



Read Chapter 1 and 2 here

Chapter 2
Chapter 1

I am angry!

http://digg.com/d1qS4R First


I am angry at this senseless bull shit how the fuck do you creationize something that is meant to question all. Honestly this isn't science anymore this is religion. Do you know why I am mad? Because science is tough to go against all odds and that has brought us great discoveries. It so hypocritical when this happen because most who believe that "God created the world" that is not say that he didn't but I'm not one to choose side I'll decided when I die. I like having an open mind. As I was saying those who believe in what was mentioned above have no problem taking medicine which science created when they are sickly or dying. One of this days its going to bite you in the ass because karma is a bitch to be hypocritical like that.


You can hate me now for my views :D'

P.S other reason why I am angry this violates


1. we are all from different faiths, we all don't believe in creation, total violation of the 1st
2. This is not science anymore
3. I live in this senseless state.

Geesh

I get so frustrated with myself when I can't entertain myself or keep myself occupied because, I learned that the phrase "I'm bored" is ridiculous, if your bored its because your own doing, because there are many things to do, the thing is to make yourself do it. There are so many activities in the world that one can easily do to occupy your whole 18 hours most people are awake. From listening to music to reading to blogging to commenting on other people pages, ideas, thoughts, ect.


So refuse will all my power to say that "I'm Bored"

fuck now im just angry LOL

just because, no real reason. It just one of those days.

Listening to my ipod & thinking about my special someone after 7 yrs im still in love as if it were day 1

Tree~s!

So i have this minor, oh very slight obsession with Evil Tree. Evil Trees? yes Evil! trees with no leave in a dark forest with creepy sharp clawed branch like hands and Dark Red Evil eyes, and deep menacing jagged teeth against it dark void back drop of a mouth opening never ending. Laughing Evilly. As forest around whispers "I am inescapable"

I must be immoral! I'm a twitter!

So I just read this on digg apparently it been out for awhile and unknown to me of course. It a scientific article/study. Its a bit sensational as we all know, that by micro-blogging, we some how repress our real emotion, not able to face our real issue and allowing it to be repressed some where deep in our mind!

Now I must admit that just makes me love twitter more because I love all things immoral because most of the time when a mass majority think something is immoral it really is not. Example, sex many people think sex is immoral, especially having sex before marriage. Well you can believe what you want but it just make no sense how a human emotion, human like is immoral within ethics of humanity. As long as your no hurting someone or someone else feeling then go at it.

Sex is unethical if you hurt someone by manipulating them to have sex with you when they have the poor judgment to see that they are just being used for a one night stand. Sex is unethical when you cheat on someone. So forth and so on, I'm sure you get my point.

I just don't see how twitter is unethical. Sometimes I feel it even better than myspace because it almost like psychology because your observing someone from afar as what they do during their day. Granted you still have the option of contacting that person. Yet I see nothing unethical or immoral of venting anger on a blog! Especially if that person really needs it and helps them from breaking down in serious situation.

I am lead to believe that, that's what journal/blogging is all about. The ability to help our self by indirectly viewing our situation through writing!

Knowledge is power

I know knowledge is power if you can educate someone then you can make a person have better judgment of a situation, so this post is about the swine flu again!

I am uncertain who said this exactly but its a powerful piece even though it so small in word length yet so big on impact.

"A couple of hundred people get sick from swine flu and people panic, 8000 people die of aids per day yet their is still unprotected sex" this my version of the quote

hes/her version was much more to the point
"90 people get swine flu and people start to wear mask, 90 mil people have aids and peopel still have unprotected sex" --His/her quote


I felt a need to change to a more accurate stats but its powerful so powerful it shake me to the core because the realization is massive.

Saying so

It often easy to say that your going to start a new day, with a new outlook and when it fails you wonder why? yet the thing to realize it wasn't you rather how we execute a situation it all comes down how we do it, sometimes we say we must ease our self into our new self but that I find at least for me never works.


---Shorty Story 4 Continued - Chap 2 ---

Considering the severity of the situation we knew right away we would have to both get a job and fast if we were to support these kids. We immediately contact the national job hotline and immediately received a location, and time of our first job, as construction workers. Which was rather sad for me as for Steven my brother he had no care he had always done hard labor and this by no mean was a challenge. As for me as my brother knows being a gay male, in a job where I felt was full of straight male not only straight but filled with the stereotypical straight male, all about the girls, the booze, and half of the time making fun of anyone they can find made it hard. My brother was the same way, yet I accepted him for who he was, He would often tell me he meant no harm by his jokes and I believed him. Although that doesn't mean it was right. By no mean was I concerned nor anal on the contrary I was relaxed always in my dreams, and always wanting more. So why am I having trouble with a bunch of strange straight men when as some might say be more critical of what my brother thinks than what a bunch of strange straight males think. Because it wasn't so much that they were straight but rather that I hadn't known them well enough to know prod at what they really felt. Which made me insecure, and insecurity is the worst feeling that anyone can have.

Time was passing and it was passing fast at work I still was having issues with some of my fellow coworkers. It had been three months and Joe, Mark, and David were all very stereotypical men, yet when they found out I was gay they made fun of me but they also made it clear to let me know that it was okay, that they were just kidding unlike John who had a serious problem with my sexuality and felt he was out to make my work day hell always gay bashing me always calling me a fagot and always saying I was disgusting and that I was meant for damnation, and the other always told him to back down which I appreciated but I wasn't going to let one person ruin my job. We were always fighting it got to a point where I felt we wanted to kill each other there needed to be a stop to this. So I decided to talk to the foreman, I told him that I enjoy my job here but if thing continued the way they did, I was unable to work for them again. Lucky Gabriel understood my situation and said that he had another construction project that paid more a coupe of block down from where we were but he had to offer it to John before he could offer it to me as he had been with the company longer either way it would solve the problem by removing one of us. Which I was happy about, and the final verdict came that John would no longer be working on this team, and be transferring to the other, and another member from team B would join team A, team A being the team I was with.

Another month came and went the construction of the new Bank of America building was going well, and working at such height made the world look beautiful on a clear day the at the highest floor currently completed you could see miles and miles of land and sea entangled with the Los Angeles skyline. It felt like having power of vision to be able to see so far and wide. It truly made you feel alive, at times for lunch I would sit there and stare at the flock of birds in their intricate dance against the wind all simultaneously, it made you wonder how bird did that suddenly shift to one position to other. So random yet so congruent, somewhere deep inside of them as if they knew they were a part of whole, and that whole that belonging is all that mattered.


Chapt 1 Read here

As I sit the waves fill with sound of beethoven yet they feel more than a cliché yet so universal to feel the music pierce your skin as if the music were slowly seeping through small poors as if they were tangible matter capable of reaching something so personal as your soul. Rinsing its self against my being my soul my every thoughts. power it must be to move so many with notation and measure like a universal beat that always existed waiting to be discovered.

I always find

I always find this interesting but maybe it my obsession as a write with the downfall of humanity the downfall of thing that are consider as something BIG. So is wal-mart helping us or hurting is you make up your own mind!

Click Here


Watch!

http://fora.tv/2009/04/14/A_Debate_Is_Wal-Mart_Good_for_America#

Drama, a want, and a realization

So like most young adults i went to the club today, and i had fun for the most part, except for my roommates drama and its starting to piss me off, my roommate need to start relaxing and enjoying life before it passes her by, she doesnt dance she doesnt kiss she doesnt like to be in public practically. Yes I am angry with this it bring someone down when you want everyone you to try to have fun. Oh enough of that my realization I want ! to lose weight and go baack to my old self but lately its not working it keep FAILLLLLLLLLING!!! and its pissing me off, and i realize if i dont do it i never will.

i need to scream

It make sense to buy something expensive if its expensive you expect high quality granted there are some low price quality goods but it makes sense to buy something expensive and to use it 10 to 20 years down the line. I feel its common sense rather than buying something that rather cheap, and buy two or three within those 10 t0 20 years. On average people only use their good for 8 years and sometimes less, so if a good last 10 years and its expensive then its worth it, it out lived the expectation.

So do i need to scream because I am angry at my partner because hes always buying low price goods but several times every 2 to 3 years, which is costing way more than buying one high quality good and he doesn't understand where I'm coming from. Which just frustrates me.

More than a feeling --Short Story 4-- Chp 1

--comment--
I've been having this relapsing dream and under normal circumstances I would normally pay no attention, but this isn't a normal dream, because the event strike a cord with my curiosity, and the people depicted are of those who I know placed in a sci-fi setting. Some of you might not like the direction that I take, maybe because you affiliate other wise or maybe because you honestly feel that the person in question at opening is honestly hurting us, and some are going to get the joke and laugh while other will take a more serious tone to it, which is all okay.

So back to this dream, as you can assume I am going to tell you my dream, but not just plain out tell you in simple lexicon without a single flourish of imagery or imagination. With that said I bring you this untitled Short Story 4.


--A Story--


A loud thump came from the door, nothing unusual for my morning, just the news paper arriving at the apartment door via a toss of some willing stranger working for his pay, and although most of us for the most part have no relation with our paper boy we know that he's alive and well because everyday you hear that familiar thump at your door, and when you don't you tend not to think much of it, and for the most part that is true. So why is it that I can't shake the though
of a simple news paper boy.

Maybe because I am uncertain that I will ever see life as it used to be. They call me mic, short for micca the asexual name that my parent decided to give to me, and even though I wondered and searched over internet text of names this name always seem to stir some confusion. Micca isn't that a girls name? stranger would always ask. Yes i replied but its also a boys name. Oh, I didn't know that they respond. I've only heard it on girls. I try not to look offended that I was just called girl.

Yet another memory of times past, but as not to get ahead, I should explain. The year is 2029 and it's May, or at least I think it is at least the season feels that way. When you feel the heat rise ever so slightly that it begins to start a chain of "oh its hot today" and even if you don't think it is you always seem to reply "yes it is". Yet in order to understand I must go a bit further than 2029, to the year 2009. That year I had barely turned five, and although I remember not much beside from what we were taught in school and or random parent conversation that a young child sometimes tunes into. I remember this, Obama won that the electing that past Fall, and that he changed the course of almost every American by implementing new methods, that as my parent would say helped us all, as far I am concerned I can't say because I was only a child and when your that young you know no difference and because I grew up with this new government I only reaped the benefits, but what had change was America was more socialized, because of that no one seemed to be suffering, with free education and free health care, and no lack of jobs, and if you disliked your job you could easily switch to a new one. Stress was at an all time low people life expectancy was high. Everything was good.

Well not everything, with all things there is a downside. That was given up some personal freedoms, and the state of other nations. While U.S. was becoming a utopia elsewhere war ranged on. In 2012 Iran launched a massive attack against Israel, and while the U.S. deciding not to Intervene, Iran easily won, but that was the beginning, with all victories comes domination and soon Iran went from becoming one nation to four nation all taken by force and all ignored by the U.S. At first one would think well if not the U.S. what happened with the U.K. involvement. Shortly after the first raid on Israel, The U.K. suffered massive losses and seeing as how U.S. would send any help they withdrew, and they flourished along with the U.S. . Also in mid 2009 after the swine flu pandemic had increased and they closed the border and the recession got deeper, and the U.S. seem like it was hopeless, after the pandemic had made its course it had wiped 2% of the earth population according to the CDC with Mexico suffering the most casualties. Thats when Obama administration signed a new bill that focused not only on infrustructure but new renewble energy, which brought our deficit to a new time low. At the time the American Public had its worry.

With the small take over of Israel, Turkey, Iraq and Syria that lasted from 2011 to 2015, their was worry about war comming over to the States, even though Americas refusual to get involved, at the same time NASA and the BNSC established the first mars colony. Developing a series of new technology more notably the new solar panel which harvest 80% of the actual energy opposed to 3% witht the fund provided by the bill signed three year earlier. Which changed everything in the energy industry causing oil price to declined sharply. Many countries who depends on oil went bankrupt, but not diminished. Soon technology received a boost, with energy so cheap everyone was inventing all new sort of thing eventually an old world rapidly became a new world and that new world became my world. All the thing you had imagined, from gliding card on a magnitised system to semi-artificial intelligence. The best thing about the world that had changed was pollution, it had drastically reduced. the affect of it were apparent in health people health increased drastically cancer rate drop, and the life span increased.

Finally what was not mentioned with the U.S. doing well in almost every aspect of its economy, and when Obama signed the American Obligation Commision Act, everyone had a job, at some level.

Thats is how at age 25, 20 years later I got my first job. It was mid-april and I spent most of my life just taking it easy, taking it my way, doing what I wanted as most adult my age did. College had was free and everyone seemed to have a degree and there was an over saturation someone had to stay home. I had been on my own since i was 18 doing odd technical jobs here and there for pay, I just didn't want to work I saw no benifit. Until my brother came along, but its not so much that it was just him he had brought 4 other people with him. I had not seen my brother for 5 years and all sudden he shows up, with four kids!

I was angry at first, then I had no choice to understand, his wife and his sister in law died in a electrical accident, killing her and two of the kids parents, beacuse two of those kids were his nephews in law, oh so complicated it made my brain hurt. I had met them 5 years ago Abby was just six, and Matthew was 7, Michael my brothers first nephew in law was 12 at the time and his sister Diana was 10. So now I had a 10, 12, 15 ,17 soon to be 18 year old in my small one bedroom oh and my brother he had recently turned 30.

Awesome-O

Awesome-O to be said congruently not Awesome with a wait a pause for a second then O but Awesome immediately add the O, extra O if you have bird flu, or swine flu, or whatever, it like the news over hypes everything, and it does, it really give you a short panic if you allow it to.

The interesting about that last tidbit is that, When are you really suppose to believe the news? and when are you just suppose to place a sticky note in the "Concern" part of your brains memory? What if one of these days the news was right to try to spread the news as they should but after all this over-media-terror. People stop listening, huh? oh sorry I wasn't listening but no, seriously now I think I'm just confusing myself.

Any who, I think owl are awesome. Just based on look, can't say anything about the species.

So it random though Friday as you by have already deduced from reading this blog~!