Darkest before dawn.

How to begin allowing this frustration to be channeled properly without ensnaring all this sadness and anger from the heart.  I can formulate and reformulate my situation into different outlets, yet the outcome still lead to   a place that is devoid of light.


There's an important lesson that I've learned from everyone that I have interacted with.  Now I'm not saying everyone acts this way but it is a very common thing among the human race.  We all at one point have been part of gossip.  We are people we are bound to get annoyed of each other because of our differences.  To survive it. I can't fathom why if we all know this deep in our heart when it happens, why do we react in a manner as if one is better than the other.  Furthermore why are people so anxious to overcome others opinions?  We need to stop, driving ourselves to our own demise.  We need to seriously begin lending a hand to each other no matter how tough the situation, no matter how mentally ill, or misguided someone is.  The reason I mention mental illness is that sometimes people are addicts to certain things that can affect life seriously.  We shun these people and it bothers me to an extent due to the fact that because if someone had paid attention to begin with, and provided the much guidance needed. Maybe we would all be in better position in our life.

It brings a great sadness to see individuals lose sanity, love, and peace over small insignificant things.  Such as pride, status, and position.  We all need to push each other to the top, because the way we are headed we are severely close to doom. I'm certain of it because I feel it and I have been involved where I have experience it, and see it daily in my local ghetto.  I see it in times of holidays where we are bickering over the same toy.  I see it when we ignore  that one person that you feel really needs help.

All this negative status on the world.  I wish I could say, write or sing something that would change the negativity in people and in their hearts.

Love, Peace, and Positive Energy.

In and Out

I have had this blogger account for awhile now, and although not regularly updated, it brings me peace of mind.  It's a place where I can escape to whenever I really need to express my views, opinions and dilemmas.

Furthermore it serves as a spiritual growth chart, revealing the many states and experiences that I have endured.   I have come to deep realization concerning spiritual matters.  I have accepted the free spirited thinking of an esoteric religion.  It's been the greatest change in my spiritual life. The love I feel from the Divine is a beautiful thing.  As  a vessel I can't imagine anyone being devoid of some type of spirituality in their own personal life.

On a more personal level I have always felt that I was meant to become a soul with a higher purpose in life.  I have found that purpose, and I'm happy to announce that am in the process of achieving the start of an entire lifetime.  I thank those who gave an ear to the dramatics of my life.


Love, Peace, and Positive Energy.


Salem Luna

I have always been self conscious.  I try to look beyond, what is out there.  I try not to pass judgement as they have passed on to me.  I do not understand why I feel insecure.  Is this the human condition we cherish so much? We seek lifestyles that are not fit for our souls.  I sit here and wonder, how we got here.  Ponder the meaning of this life filled with lots of sorrow and pain.

When will I succeed being contempt with myself and God.  Will this struggle continue forever.   I often wonder does God see me as an evil or bad person.  I wonder do I see my self in that manner.  Is that the kind of person I want to be.  How does one be cold to the world without become cold themselves.

I am at worlds ends.


Love,

Salem

Instinct!

Instinct keep animals alive, but can we say that they keep humans alive? There are numerous reports of human surviving impossible thing despite the odds. We’ve even heard some of them, like the women, man, or child lifting a car to save a loved one, these are urban legends but some are undoubtedly true. So if your instincts told you that in the living room without a doubt in your mind you felt it there was danger, maybe something out of the ordinary lets say? a huge ostrich your instincts just wont budge they keep telling you there’s an ostrich. Would you believe yourself? A friend put it this way,

“Yes, its the only way to survive, its like it prepares you for the worst and even if it wasn’t there you know in your mind that you were prepared to face it.” -Ris A.

And believe most of it to be true. I follow my Instincts 40~60% of the time depending on the situation while the remaining 61~100% I try to be as logical as I possibly can(sans religion i add this note because through a scientific perspective no religion is logical so when my issues deal with religion I’m neither instinctive nor logical towards it) Continuing with this post.

On March 17, 2011 at 2 a.m. I was awaken by the most horrible low raspy gargle like howling about 10 to 20 ft out my window, followed by a shriek from a women. Oddly enough when I woke up my instinct advised me to close the window and stay alert because and this is what my mind told me because there was a werewolf outside. No kidding! and naturally I don’t believe in werewolves I like the myth about them but never believed in them. So why did my instincts tell me there was one outside?! this was not a pleasant feeling. So after a couple of hours I was able to fall asleep, and forgot about it. Until Today early around 2 a.m it happened again this time luckily my partner heard it too. The horrible howl and the shrieking woman, and again my instincts told me danger! Whether I believe there is a werewolf out there I can’t tell you, I’m as confused as anyone would be. We have lived here over a year not to ever heard such a dog in the neighborhood, and if it is a dog let me tell you I won’t feel stupid but relieved because instincts are suppose to help you survive.

The funny part about this is the next morning my mind told me to cross reference on a google search the word Werewolf and St. Patrick do it for yourself, how funny that they are correlated, but for those who won’t do it. St. Patrick cursed a family that every 7 years one of their members is cursed to turn into a wolf. I leave you with that! (P.S. I personally don’t believe in saints, but i know they are real people, so that piece of information is interesting)

Undying Memory

Haven't you heard they say "When you think about someone, that you have had no contact with in many years that they are thinking about you too".  I try not to go on archeology explorations of my past, for those mountains are to large for me to excavate through, and far to dangerous. Yet it happens that the mind often makes expedition without permission.  We let our guard down and although painful the experience is human.

That someone he is named Matthew at the time a youth so beautiful of light semi bronzed stoned skin, a shaved head and his radiant blue azure eyes.  His eyes could peer into my soul, and I still remember you.  Have you remembered me as of late? Two days have you filled my mind, or is it my heart yearning.  Yearning for something that has past long ago. This I do not know, but the though of you always brings a smile despite the decade old memory, as grainy as it may be I still can feel your touch, hear your laugh, and if my impact was not as great as your was mine.  This I'm telling to you, I'm here, and despite my foolishness you will always have a piece of my heart.  As days pass if I happen to run across your mind.  Forgive me! forgive me for pushing you away, I feel that I made you feel unwanted, as though the new experiences that you had discovered were wrong.  I was not prepared to receive your love.  The life that run through my veins pray that you're love rains on the one who has proven their worth, and next time my heart feels for you.  The pain that stabs at the heart will no longer stab, but will fade into a memory of my love for you.

Very deep emotional confusion

I do not know what good my post will be, but I hope it helps someone, just enough to make them realize that it is not worth taking your life over a few bigoted minded individuals. Yes, I'm sadden that this month is a poster for death. So many young gay males committing suicide over senseless bullying from their peers. America needs to step back and realize that this hatred has to stop. That the hate you harbor for someone might as well be a loaded weapon. Your life is worth it I promise! thing will change do not let them win WE WILL WIN and we are entitled to every benefit anyone else in this country has. IF YOUR GAY AND QUESTIONING OR NEED HELP CALL 1-866-4-U-TREVOR 1-866-488-7386

Science: Proof that God Exist

I often laugh when I'm asked this question. I also laugh when anyone challenge me to prove that God exist. No one can prove or disapprove that he does exist it is an infinite he said/she said situation. One often thinks of choosing sides. I'm not here to convince you, I'm here to state my reason why I believe in God.

The first proof of Gods existence is the ability of a God to doubt himself to instill that doubt and to allow you to make up your mind.

Why would God allow you to doubt him if he is so great, if he is filled with infinite wisdom, love and compassion. Why not allow us all to experience that? Do we gain respect from our colleagues at work, or from our peers by just allowing everyone to experience what we have to offer as coworker, friends, or a lover? I find that most will answer "no" to this question. We work hard to earn the respect of our boss, our peers by leading by proving to them that we are worthy of all that we say, and do. Equally God does not want just anyone to experience his love, wisdom, and compassion. You must earn his respect, through the ups and downs of life.

True faith is faith that is lost and regained, it is straying from the road and reflecting on the errors and committing a change. One will argue that this is psychological that it is a normal process of life, and psychology is considered a science a science that proves the existence of God. Because it is a universal form of suffrage. We all suffer some how, some more ways than others. It proves that because we are human we are connected, and the only way I can attest to this connection is because we connect through God, even those who choose to remain Godless.

So why would God allow those that remain godless still experience that human connection one might ask? I though they had to earn the respect of God? I ask you, do you like all your co-workers/friend/neighbors, most likely not its rare, yet we tend to try to get along with them and sometimes we must to be productive. Unlike us God does not annoyingly hate us, or annoying say " I guess I have to talk to you to be productive" God does this with compassion and always allows us to return to the path. Always giving us a chance to realize that he is there.

Most would call the "Human Connection" Instinct, and equally animal instinct. Animals only do what they are programmed to do one might think, that they have no idea of god. Someone had to program them to do what they do? Just like our genetics is our human code, it is there because it is our program that God laid out for us. Genetics a program built by God, proof that science is God.

Just like genetics, weather, animals, and nature have cycles, a program one could say. That program that connection all leads up to God. Which all connects through us, by the existence of water. Every living thing on earth requires some type of water to grow. Even if in small quantities.

Finally when you love someone, when you hear your favorite song. That joyful feeling we get, from visiting a friend. The connection and compassion we experience from other people that is the ultimate proof that God exist. Only someone so powerful could have allowed us to feel such complex emotions and feeling that we hardly understand.

"I was an atheist at one time. And like many atheists, the issue of people believing in God bothered me greatly. What is it about atheists that we would spend so much time, attention, and energy refuting something that we don't believe even exists?! What causes us to do that? When I was an atheist, I attributed my intentions as caring for those poor, delusional people...to help them realize their hope was completely ill-founded. To be honest, I also had another motive. As I challenged those who believed in God, I was deeply curious to see if they could convince me otherwise. Part of my quest was to become free from the question of God. If I could conclusively prove to believers that they were wrong, then the issue is off the table, and I would be free to go about my life.

I didn't realize that the reason the topic of God weighed so heavily on my mind, was because God was pressing the issue. I have come to find out that God wants to be known. He created us with the intention that we would know him. He has surrounded us with evidence of himself and he keeps the question of his existence squarely before us. It was as if I couldn't escape thinking about the possibility of God. In fact, the day I chose to acknowledge God's existence, my prayer began with, "Ok, you win..." It might be that the underlying reason atheists are bothered by people believing in God is because God is actively pursuing them" -Marilyn Adamson