Horror Of Unemployment

The cool filtered air conditioner rushes against my face again. I stand there lost like a gerbil or a mouse trying to detect the scent of retail, service, or office management. I walk forward to the over-cheery looking customer service desk, or a long nailed un-attentive secretary. After a short pause a monotonous drone greeting, "can I help you?" Equally a drone like respond, My name is Salome Soto (you may insert your name here), I'm scheduled for an interview at this time, a time which for me, and many Americans will mean whether we will be able to pay rent on time, or the electric bill or whether we will have enough to serve the next meal to our children. Even though in our heart we hope that this is our last interview after countless months of searching, we cannot express how much this job means to us. "US" 9.7% of the united states population, how can we say that things have gotten better, what is .3% to the rest of 9.7%? They are like me, countless bus rides, drives and Internet jobs search engines. Like lions of the Serengeti waiting for their prey, our prey is the help wanted sign against a clean shinning window that only reflect the sorrow of the many who will not be hired.

Countless time I've walked into these shiny glass plastered walls that are business, offices, and services buildings. I walk with my head held high I often pause in the waiting room as I psych myself up "I'm gonna get this job, I'm well qualified" I look down at my resume and read and reread my qualifications. I say to myself 10 years of customer service experience with 2 years of assistant management experience with 4 years of team leading experience, I say to myself "even if I have to start at the bottom I'm willing" I have no remorse. I will not let unemployment bring me down, the internal monologue of many as we sit at a lobby for our names to be called. Each time we fill the blank fields on an Internet application. Each time we slowly, perfectly, scribble down information with black filled ink on a crisp paper application. I turn my thought inwardly, even if it is fast food its better than nothing, even if it's an associate position its better than nothing, even if its construction, or entry level desk job, it must be better than having nothing. I don't mind not being a team lead or assistant management, we are in need. It's what many say, as they fill out application after application, it is what we think as we wake up every morning hoping to hear that phone ring to hear a person on the other end "You got the position". Hoping that this time will be the last time we have to worry about how we are going to pay for gas, pay for our bills, pay for our food. Hoping it's the last time we must beg to a close friends or family for spare change.

This is what I have experienced, and I often doubt my qualification, my experience and I often wonder if I'm even a valuable asset, and after I have been turned down several times, there are time where I've wanted to give up. These experiences are bruises on my esteem and on my soul. I patiently wait as our government sets a course for what potentially can could be the difference between me being homeless or not, the difference between me going into debt or not. I cannot live on hope alone, my faucet is drying. The heat of unemployment has dried most of my reserves. I lost my job 12 months ago I on average submitted 10 applications per week or more. An approximate total of 520 a year, I have been living on my small savings, credit cards and hand out from my friends and family. I'm on my last limb, I will not give up. I am an unemployed service worker spending over 6 hours a day committed to work searches, hunts and interviews. Which has lead to nowhere; do I feel currently there are chances of me being employed? No I feel I have no chance. Because as one business told me, "because we prefer those with no experience, so we can mold them into our way of work", Because I cost too much unlike someone without experience. These are the few truths that I must face every day. That they have become my nightmares in daylight. Until recently I was lucky to have made a friend unknown to my knowledge for about 6 month that she was a General Manager at service related field that when she asked about my situation not previous knowing it. It is not something one discloses so openly. She offered me a job after reviewing my qualification and am just awaiting the day where I can shatter my nightmares and finally become a productive member of society once more. I hope its soon.