its been a couple of days

Its been a few days since I have posted anything new and a lot of internal feeling have been going on, just a lot of confusion. Always the struggle to accept that God loves me its tough. No, I don't believe that I'm suffering cause I'm gay per say I'm suffering because I will not know that what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong till I die, but I will keep loving God no matter what and if it turn out that being gay was wrong them I accept my damnation when I will be faced with it. It's just that I wish that people would allows us to be close to God that I could go to a place of worship without being felt as if I was a freak, an outcast, or that to try to convert me to being straight because I tried. That pain caused me and the people around more pain than ever. Because I tried to take my life that was 10 years ago. I will never allow myself to be so selfish, fooled or persuaded. The struggles I have with God should be mine and should not be subjected to the comments of a religion. Though I wish to worship like everyone else just leave us alone. Leave us alone so that we may find the peace we seek with God, and let God damn us if we are meant to be damned.