Saying so

It often easy to say that your going to start a new day, with a new outlook and when it fails you wonder why? yet the thing to realize it wasn't you rather how we execute a situation it all comes down how we do it, sometimes we say we must ease our self into our new self but that I find at least for me never works.


---Shorty Story 4 Continued - Chap 2 ---

Considering the severity of the situation we knew right away we would have to both get a job and fast if we were to support these kids. We immediately contact the national job hotline and immediately received a location, and time of our first job, as construction workers. Which was rather sad for me as for Steven my brother he had no care he had always done hard labor and this by no mean was a challenge. As for me as my brother knows being a gay male, in a job where I felt was full of straight male not only straight but filled with the stereotypical straight male, all about the girls, the booze, and half of the time making fun of anyone they can find made it hard. My brother was the same way, yet I accepted him for who he was, He would often tell me he meant no harm by his jokes and I believed him. Although that doesn't mean it was right. By no mean was I concerned nor anal on the contrary I was relaxed always in my dreams, and always wanting more. So why am I having trouble with a bunch of strange straight men when as some might say be more critical of what my brother thinks than what a bunch of strange straight males think. Because it wasn't so much that they were straight but rather that I hadn't known them well enough to know prod at what they really felt. Which made me insecure, and insecurity is the worst feeling that anyone can have.

Time was passing and it was passing fast at work I still was having issues with some of my fellow coworkers. It had been three months and Joe, Mark, and David were all very stereotypical men, yet when they found out I was gay they made fun of me but they also made it clear to let me know that it was okay, that they were just kidding unlike John who had a serious problem with my sexuality and felt he was out to make my work day hell always gay bashing me always calling me a fagot and always saying I was disgusting and that I was meant for damnation, and the other always told him to back down which I appreciated but I wasn't going to let one person ruin my job. We were always fighting it got to a point where I felt we wanted to kill each other there needed to be a stop to this. So I decided to talk to the foreman, I told him that I enjoy my job here but if thing continued the way they did, I was unable to work for them again. Lucky Gabriel understood my situation and said that he had another construction project that paid more a coupe of block down from where we were but he had to offer it to John before he could offer it to me as he had been with the company longer either way it would solve the problem by removing one of us. Which I was happy about, and the final verdict came that John would no longer be working on this team, and be transferring to the other, and another member from team B would join team A, team A being the team I was with.

Another month came and went the construction of the new Bank of America building was going well, and working at such height made the world look beautiful on a clear day the at the highest floor currently completed you could see miles and miles of land and sea entangled with the Los Angeles skyline. It felt like having power of vision to be able to see so far and wide. It truly made you feel alive, at times for lunch I would sit there and stare at the flock of birds in their intricate dance against the wind all simultaneously, it made you wonder how bird did that suddenly shift to one position to other. So random yet so congruent, somewhere deep inside of them as if they knew they were a part of whole, and that whole that belonging is all that mattered.


Chapt 1 Read here