Friends March 20/07

This ocean inside me is stirring like a tsunami it crashes against my fragile heart, why must I feel these feelings. Is it not enough that life has dealt me a card which I can not deal with? What do I need to do to allow my soul to heal, what is it that the heaven want from me. If it's not enough the people of the world have to ignore me, and it is not like I'm complaining, I'm grateful for the love I have received, when I look at the earth mover the earth shaper the engineer of the earth and my life, a great calm comes over me and helps me move on, helps me forget, for a moment. His earthy hands comfort my hearts ache, and I do not deny it, but sometimes a heart needs different outlets because one person cannot know the answers to the world but they can help you understand it. The way we understand is by allowing our spirit to take from others, and it is other that I lack. I feel no other understands me, at times I don't need a lover, but a friend and this is what aches my heart. The art of friend making baffles my soul and spirit which greatly troubles my mind and heart. I need someone to explain to me what needs to be done. Because I cannot bear anymore and want this feeling to end, I want the hurt to dissipate, I for once want to be the one with friends. So I ask you to help me with my problem because the pain I feel keeps my eyes open through the night, and burdens me until I tire my self to sleep.